WWE Raw Results (07/02/12) – Laredo, Texas
WWE Raw 07/02
We are live in: Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler
Raw intro plays.
Tonight’s Raw General Manager is Teddy Long. His main event match is John Cena and CM Punk versus Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho.
The Money in the Bank briefcase is shown hanging over the ring.
John Cena comes out and enters the ring.
What an excited bunch we got here tonight! After seeing the footage of what happened between him, Chris Jericho, and Big Show, it would be reasonable for him to be angry. But no. He thanks Jericho and Big Show. Jericho said that he needed to be prepared for the Money in the Bank match where anything can happen. That’s what happened last week. He was facing Jericho, and Big Show attacked him. In a Money in the Bank match you don’t have friends, just enemies. Just after his education last week, he needs to be prepared for anything and he will be! He stands by what he said last week. Two things will happen. Big Show will lose, and he will grab the contract, cash it in, and be the next WWE Champion.
“YES! YES! YES! YES!”
Daniel Bryan comes out and heads to the ring shouting “YES!”
In a weird six degrees of separation, even Daniel Bryan agrees with him.
Actually, he didn’t even realize he was out here. He’s not relevant to him. Actually, that’s not entirely true. At the Money in the Bank Pay Per View he will defeat CM Punk and become the new WWE Champion.
Loud “NO!” chants.
And if he manages to get his hands around the contract, then his relevance to him will be as the first superstar ever to cash in the contract and lose.
Those are strong words, but he can think of at least one person who disagrees.
WWE Champion CM Punk comes out.
He can think of a lot more people than just one that disagree with Daniel. Does he disagree with Daniel? YES! Does John disagree with Daniel?
Does Jerry Lawler disagree with Daniel?
Jerry Lawler says yes.
Does the guy selling popcorn out there disagree with Daniel? Does this side disagree? That side? YES YES YES YES! YES!
“THAT IS ENOUGH! STOP IT!”
Bryan is begging someone to have one original thought and NOT steal his catchphrase.
He wants an original thought? His ex-girlfriend AJ is the special guest referee and she’ll count his shoulders to the mat for the three count. How’s that for original? And if Cena wins Money in the Bank, it comes down to the two of them, doesn’t it?
Chris Jericho comes out.
That’s not an original thought. This is an original thought. Punk’s a wannabe. Daniel Bryan wants to complain about other people being unoriginal and stealing from him. Happens to him all the time, isn’t that right “Best in the World?”
“That’s right, Bon Jovi!”
He ignores the remark and says all Bryan has to do is make some new catchphrases.
Bryan says this doesn’t involve him-
Would he PLEASE…SHUT. THE HELL. UP. And welcome to RAW…IS…JERICHO! And after tonight, none of them will never, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever…be the same…again!
See? He’s just putting a few extra arrows in his quiver. Cena’s right about one thing. He needs to be prepared. Since he invented Money in the Bank, he’s going to WIN Money in the Bank. Oh yeah. And he dares the fans, or anybody to come down to this ring and tell him otherwise.
Kane comes out and heads down to the ring. He says only one word.
Big Show comes out and heads down to the ring.
Suddenly, Bryan attacks Cena from behind. Punk gets him with a roundhouse kick. Jericho knocks Punk down. Kane attacks Jericho in the turnbuckle corner. Show enters the ring and decks Cena with a punch. Kane fights back Show and Show clotheslines him down. Everybody but Show is laid out. Show exits the ring and heads to the back, his message sent.
Charlie Sheen will be the “social media ambassador” of the 1000th episode of Raw.
Titus O’Niel, Darren Young, Cody Rhodes and David Otunga come out along with Abraham Washington for a tag team match.
Santino, Christian, R-Truth and Kofi Kingston come out as their opponents.
[Eight Man Tag Match]
[Titus O’Niel, Darren Young, Cody Rhodes and David Otunga vs. Santino Marella, Christian, R-Truth and Kofi Kingston]
Bell sounds. Christian and Young start it out. They grapple. Young with a couple shots and goes for a scoop slam but Christian counters. Christian at the turnbuckle. Young charges and Christian kicks him back. Dropkick off the top for a two count. Tag to Truth. Truth chops Young and whips him into the ropes. Young counters and Truth grabs the ropes. Another grapple. Truth makes the blind tag to Kingston as he whips Young. Kingston springboards and cross body blocks Young for a two count. Kingston goes for the Boom Drop, but Titus drags his partner out of the ring. Kofi goes over the top and lands on Titus. Young attacks Kofi from behind and the two groups back away from each another
Cody and Kingston in the ring. Cody has Kingston at the ropes. A knee to the gut and he tags in Titus. Titus attacks Kofi, but Kofi fights back. He jumps on Titus’ back and tries to make a tag but Titus slams him down for a two count. Kingston recovers with a dropkick. Tag made to Santino. Titus tags Otunga. Santino with a side suplex and a stunner. Count broken but Titus and Young. Kingston enters the ring and Titus tries to throw him out but Kingston pulls the ropes and sends him out. Young and Titus leave the ring with Abraham. Santino with a hip toss to Otunga. Otunga goes to tag Cody, but Cody jumps off and leaves as well. Otunga is in disbelief.
Brodus Clay comes out. Otunga tries to leave, but Christian, Kofi and Truth keep him in the ring. Otunga turns around and Santino hits The Cobra for the three count.
[Winners: Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Christian and Santino Marella]
Christian grabs Otunga and hits The Killswitch. Clay enters the ring, runs the ropes and body splashes Otunga. Naomi and Campbell enter the ring and celebrate with Clay. Everyone in the ring starts dancing along with some kids.
Backstage, Teddy Long is dancing until Alberto Del Rio interrupts him.
He’s glad that Teddy’s back as General Manager.
Teddy says yeah right.
Rio just wants to say that he earned his shot at the World Title three months ago. But between the various three way and four way matches, plus his injury, he never got a solid chance.
Teddy says he thinks he doesn’t deserve anything, but the Board of Directors have said that he’s the number one contender, and at Money in the Bank he’ll face Sheamus. But tonight, he’s going to be in a match, and it’s up next.
Let’s just call it a “Teddy Long Surprise”, playa.
Alberto leaves frustrated.
Another Raw moment is introduced by Stephanie McMahon. It’s when her brother Shane trained her father Vince for the 1999 Royal Rumble. They showed vignettes of Vince training and Shane coaching him the whole time.
Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez.
Ricardo announces Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio comes out in a 1955 Rolls Royce. He heads into the ring.
Sin Cara comes out and heads to the ring as his opponent.
[Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio]
Cara slides into the ring and Alberto with a knee to the head. Alberto grabs Cara and tosses him shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Cara falls to the outside. He then jumps off the apron and drops a foot on Sin Cara’s arm. He applies the Cross Arm Breaker on the outside and Cara’s tapping, but the match never got started. Officials force Alberto off. Del Rio stands up and grins as the fans boo him.
[Winner: N/A (Match Never Started)]
Backstage, AJ is playing with a bracelet. Her wrists are taped up and a X is dawn on them just like Punk. Daniel Bryan comes up to her with a red rose.
He has a confession to make to her. He has ALWAYS cared about her. He was just frustrated at himself for messing things up and he didn’t know how to react. He’s sorry.
AJ says that’s so sweet.
Yeah it is.
And this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she’s the special guest referee for his match against Punk?
That’s not it.
He doesn’t care about her. He never did. But she can’t wait to win her match tonight and run into the arms of the man the WWE Universe calls her “soul mate”
AJ bites the rose off and spits it on the floor before walking away from Bryan.
Up next, Paul Heyman will be speaking on behalf of Brock Lesnar and will give his answer on whether or not Brock accepts Triple H’s challenge.
The “Great American Bash” edition of Smackdown is promoted. A main event battle royal will take place and the winner will be the General Manager of Smackdown for the next week. The show will be tomorrow night at 8.
Footage is shown of two weeks ago at No Way Out when Triple H made the challenge to Brock for Summerslam. Heyman says he doesn’t accept and Triple H punches him.
Paul Heyman is backstage. Cole asks him if Brock will accept.
Heyman says he’s pleased to announce that Lesnar has made an answer, and it’s an answer that he will give to Triple H’s face in three weeks at the 1000th edition of Raw. He has no doubt that Triple H wants to face Lesnar, but it’s not for the reason he’s thinking. Sure he wants the money generated from ticket sales for the lawsuit he’ll have to face, but there’s a bigger thing going on. Why? Why does he want to face him? It’s his way out. It’s his exit strategy. It’s so Triple H never has to face a beating ever again. Because if Lesnar faces him, Triple H will never be able to compete in a ring again. He’ll go on to focus on his corporate role in the company, and be a bigger part of his family. People will remember how he went out in a blaze of glory against Lesnar. If Lesnar accepts, this won’t be a match. It’ll be a mercy killing.
Heyman is laughing as the camera fades out.
Tonight, Big Show will face Kane in a No Disqualification match.
Up next, Sheamus and AJ face Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero.
Put your hands together and welcome the most captivating, irresistible diva to ever grace the WWE…ME! Please welcome Queen Diva VICKIE GUERRERO!
Guerrero comes out in her ring attire.
Please welcome her tag team partner…DOLPH ZIGGLER!
Ziggler comes out and heads to the ring with Vickie.
AJ comes out and heads to the ring.
World Champion Sheamus comes out and heads to the ring as her partner.
[Mixed Tag Team Match]
[Sheamus & AJ vs. Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero]
The bell sounds. Sheamus and Dolph start out. Ziggler gets behind Sheamus. Sheamus powers behind and hits takedown slam. Ziggler with elbows to the head followed by a side headlock. Sheamus tosses Ziggler into the ropes and Ziggler with a dropkick for a one count. Ziggler with shots to the arm followed by an arm lock, but Sheamus pushes him off. Ziggler off the ropes with a kick to the head but it’s ineffective. Sheamus with a flapjack for a two count. Sheamus pulls Ziggler’s leg and Dolph grabs the ropes. Ziggler knocks Sheamus against the ropes and kicks him in the head. He enters the ring and hits an implant DDT for a two count. Ziggler with a headlock submission. Sheamus fights out of it and rolls Ziggler out of it. Ziggler runs over to Sheamus and Sheamus smacks him with a forearm to the head. He follows it up with White Noise. Sheamus stands near AJ and gets ready for the Brogue Kick. He goes for it and Ziggler tags in Vickie. Vickie gets mad at Ziggler and while distracted Sheamus Brogue Kicks Ziggler out of the ring. Vickie gets in the ring and yells at Sheamus. AJ enters the ring and takes Vickie down for the three count.
[Winner: AJ & Sheamus]
After the match, AJ grabs a microphone and starts doing a “YES” chant. She shouts it all the way up the ramp. Sheamus celebrates in the ring.
Backstage, AJ is looking around for Punk. She finds him on the phone and calls for him.
Punk says hold on he’s on the phone.
Who is he talking too?
What did he think of her match?
He hangs up.
What match? He’s been on the phone with his sister for 15 minutes.
He was on the phone the whole time!?
He’s sorry, he didn’t know she had a match.
He…wasn’t paying attention to her?
AJ walks away from Punk looking distraught.
Heath Slater is in the ring.
A video is shown of past WWE legends such as Vader, Piper, and Sycho Sid facing Heath Slater and beating him up.
They think that’s funny? That’s not funny! He’s the one man band! He is not a clown! He is not a-
Doink The Clown comes out! Doink enters the ring.
[Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown[
Bell sounds. Doink with a side headlock into a hammerlock. Heath tries to counter and Doink slaps him. Doink ducks a clothesline and Heath sweeps the leg knock him down. Heath kicks Doink and connects with a running knee to the face. Doink recovers and whips Heath into the turnbuckle. Heath counters and lands a few punches. Heath whips Doink face first into the opposite turnbuckle and hits a neckbreaker for the three count.
[Winner: Heath Slater]
Diamond Dallas Page comes out! He heads into the ring and faces Heath. He gives the “Bang” symbol. Heath gives the same symbol. DDP goes to shake his hand and instead gives him the Diamond Cutter. DDP exits the ring and shakes hands with some fans.
In other news, the Hulk Hogan classic “No Holds Barred” is coming to DVD tomorrow. Yay?
Kane vs. Big Show is up next.
A video plays of John Cena showing up at the Walter Reed Medical Center two weeks ago to meet with the men and women of the Marines.
Kane comes out and heads into the ring for his match.
His opponent, Big Show, comes out next.
[No Disqualification Match]
[Big Show vs. Kane]
Bell sounds. Show kicks Kane and punches him into a corner. Chop to the chest. Kane with a jaw followed by punches of his own. A side headlock and Show pushes him into the ropes before hitting a shoulder bump. Kane exits the ring and Show lifts him up on the apron. Kane stuns him with a jawbreaker on the ropes. Show recovers and shoulder tackles Kane off the apron. Show exits the ring and beats up on Kane. He goes for a boot but Kane moves and Show hits the barricade. Kane with a strong right hand. He goes for a whip, but Show counters and whips Kane into the ring steps. Show grabs Kane by the neck and goes for chokeslam, but Kane counters and goes for a chokeslam of his own. Show smacks Kane into the announce table and kicks him in the chest. Show grabs Kane and tosses him back in the ring. Show grabs a steel chair and tosses it into the ring. He enters the ring and Kane with a jab to the throat. A few right hands and a whip, but Show counters. He goes for a back body drop and Kane counters with a DDT for a two count. Kane gets up and climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. Show gets up and Kane goes for the top rope clothesline. He misses. Kane notices the chair and grabs it, but Show is able to spear Kane into the chair. Show gets up, grabs Kane and chokeslams him onto the chair for the three count.
[Winner: Big Show]
Backstage, Teddy is talking to Eve who’s now back.
Eve says he’s looking well.
Teddy says save the drama. Since she’s been gone, he did something to help people remember who she is.
Teddy takes out a large nametag and pastes it on Eve. Teddy leaves laughing. Even rips the tag off and walks over to AJ who happens to be nearby.
She says that AJ has been doing pretty well lately. But she should drop the crazy act and do what all little girls do: cry in the corner.
AJ asks Eve what she’s going to do now. John Laurinaitis is no longer around, so what she’s going to do next? Be a singer? A movie star? She’ll do ANYTHING to get attention. Wanna see how she gets attention? She’ll show her. She’ll show all of them.
AJ leaves and Eve looks confused.
Alberto Del Rio gives his memorable Raw moment. It’s when D-Generation X “invaded” the WCW Nitro arena.
Tensai comes out and heads to the ring along with Sakamoto. His opponent, already in the ring, is Tyson Kidd.
[Tensai vs. Tyson Kidd]
The bell sounds. Tyson attacks Kidd with headbutts against the corner. Tyson charges forward and Tyson moves out of the way. Tensai hits the turnbuckle chest first and Tyson rolls up Tensai from behind for a three count.
[Winner: Tyson Kidd]
Tensai, mad at his quick loss, grabs Sakamoto and starts beating him up in the ring. He tosses him out of the ring and pulls at his face. Tensai leaves looking angry.
Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan are backstage getting ready for their tag match.
Bryan says he hopes Jericho isn’t entering the ring in that jacket.
HIS jacket’s bad? Look at Bryan’s! It’s Maroon! But they need to focus on Punk and Cena. They’re going to win tonight!
Bryan starts shouting “YES!” over and over. Jericho yells at him to stop, but when he doesn’t Jericho shouts “EEEEEVER AGAIN!” over and over again.
Meanwhile, Punk and Cena are talking backstage.
Punk tells Cena that he’s grown as a man, so Cena should just follow his lead.
Cena says whatever he wants, and pats him on the back before leaving. Main event is coming up!
Josh Matthews is backstage in the lockerroom with Tyson Kidd.
He says he just beat Tensai for his first win on Raw in years, he must feel great.
Tyson goes to say something, but Tensai attacks him from behind and violently beats him up against the lockerroom doors.
Back at ringside, Chris Jericho comes out for his match.
Daniel Bryan comes out as his partner.
CM Punk comes out and heads into the ring as their opponent.
John Cena, his partner, comes out and heads to the ring.
[Tag Team Match]
[CM Punk & John Cena vs. Chris Jericho & Daniel Bryan]
Bell sounds. Punk and Bryan start off. Grapple. Bryan with an arm drag followed by a “YES!” Another grapple. Side headlock to Punk. Whip, shoulder bump, leapfrog and Punk with two arm drags and a chop to the chest. Punk with a snap suplex for a two count. Cena tags in, grabs Bryan and whips him into the turnbuckle. Cena with a bulldog for a two count. Bryan tags in Jericho. They circle each other. Grapple. Jericho with the side headlock. Cena shoves him off and Jericho with a shoulder bump. Another grapple. Cena with a side headlock. Jericho shoves him off and Cena with the shoulder bump. He goes for Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho grabs the ropes and lands on the apron. Cena rams him off the apron.
Jericho and Cena in the ring. Cena fights off Bryan and Jericho with punches, and Jericho with a clothesline for a two count. Jericho kicks Cena in the head and gives a cocky pin for a one count. Jericho with a headlock submission. Cena fights out of it and drives a knee to the gut. Jericho with a back elbow to the head. He goes for the Lionsault, but Cena rolls out of the way and Jericho lands on his knee. Jericho and Cena crawl to their partners. Tag to Bryan and Daniel keeps Cena down with knees to the side. Cena at the corner and Bryan delivers numerous kicks to the chest. He lets out another loud “YES” before hitting Cena with a running dropkick against the corner for a two count. Bryan knocks Cena down and tags in Jericho. Jericho picks up Cena and drives his knee into his face. Cena fights back with punches and goes for a fisherman suplex, but Jericho counters with a front facelock submission. Cena fights it off and goes for AA but Jericho counters with the DDT. Jericho rolls him over for a two count.
Jericho picks up Cena and whips him into the turnbuckle. Cena counters but Jericho catches him with a foot to the head. Jericho goes for a bulldog, but Cena counters by tossing Jericho head first into the turnbuckle. Cena looks for Punk to make the tag and he does. Punk springboards and catches Bryan with a clothesline, a dropkick, a swinging neckbreaker. He runs and hits Bryan with a running knee. Bryan counters the bulldog but Punk gets the powerslam for the two count. Punk with the Anaconda Vice submission. Jericho breaks the hold, but Cena grabs him and throws him out of the ring. Jericho and Cena fight up the ramp and to the back. Punk and Bryan get back up. Punk whips Bryan. Bryan backflips off the turnbuckle and goes for a hurricarana but Punk counters with a pun for a two count. Bryan gets up first and hits a spin kick to the back of the head for a two count. Bryan climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. Punk catches him with chops to the chest, climbs up with him and delivers a superplex for the two count.
AJ comes out and skips down to the ring. She skips around the ring while Bryan and Punk trade punches. Punk and Bryan trades kicks now. AJ gets on the apron. Bryan and Punk continue to fight without noticing her. They run the ropes and hit each other with cross bodies. AJ walks around and looks under the ring for something. She pulls out a table and sets it up outside. AJ slowly walks up the ring steps while looking at the table. She gets on the apron, climbs up the turnbuckle and looks ready to jump onto the table.
Bryan exits the ring and tells AJ not to jump. It’s not worth it.
Punk gets on the apron, walks over to AJ and says the same thing. AJ suddenly kisses Punk before shoving him off. Punk hits Bryan and the two crash through the table together. AJ starts chanting “YES!” while looking down at the two superstars as the show comes to an end.
[Winner: N/A (no real ending)]